The year was 2009. 2008 was a tough one to crack. We did just completed our our studies at the university. Hopes were high. Labor market…..apologies “favor” market as we call it, was another difficult mountain to climb in our situation. I had an edge but it will be of no use if I do not have the right “connections”.
During my studies, I had struggled all through. Combining professional exams with university was no child’s play and that was what sapped all my energy away. When others were having fun, I was (with some good friends) digging my feet in cold water and burning the night oil to scale the tough exams. It was not an easy task.
There came the call from a friend. I did try to “fix” my location for service to Lagos ( I prefered Abuja because I knew there would be better opportunities I can easily scale up) but alas everything was scattered in the last minute. I ended up in far north — Taraba. To say I was devasted would be an understatement. This was a hit below the belt.
Meanwhile I will be getting a little bit over aged for jobs by the time I come back to Lagos. “What to do?” as we usually say.
Fast forward. I had the best of times I could ever imagined in Taraba State. Learned a whole lot about their people and culture. All the things I have been told or seen about the North were better experienced than I imagined. I tried almost ALL the local food and mehn I will say they were sumptous.
In order to survive, I picked up tutoring jobs for menial sums of money to augment what Federal and State govts give to us monthly. It was at these gigs that I learnt a BIG lesson.
Now to the main story. If you help Mr. A. DO NOT. I repeat. DO NOT expect Mr. A to return the favor. If Mr. A returns the favor — FINE. If not — FINE as well. The nature of you helping someone does not connote you receiving some sort of gratifications back immediately or in the future.
I have had several disappointments thinking ……supposedly Mr. A will return the favor. Helping others means someone down the line , someone not connected, will render an assistance at the time you need it. The basis for this is that we as humans need validation. It is way better to NOT expect validation than to be disappointed from not getting any. Always leave a room for things not going as expected. That’s life. If it worked the first time- most products we use today will most possibly NOT exist.
As you help others — assume they will also render help to someone else, who in return will return that favor and the chain continues. Helping others helps you more in the long run. Do it without expecting anything in return.
Helping others changes the world. All the crises and crimes happening all over the world are as a result of something going wrong with the perpetrators. That unused clothing or iPad or food or money or advise could go a long way to save the world. Don’t underestimate the effect of kindness.
Doctors delivers a baby Pilot. Pilot flies Doctor to their destination. Of course, they both get paid. But one hand must clean the other — otherwise both hands will remain dirty.
The new world we live in requires each and every one of us helping those we can help.
Au revior.
